Jacob Sherwood sat there, petrified by the grammatical nightmare glowing bright on the computer screen. Toby and Matt looked on silently, and the guest stars were silent on the other end of the Skype call. They were all there. MD Phantasm, Alexo, TheShowWithNoName, Vince12, ThirdOfClubs, and the Overanalyst. After Jacob had discovered this gauntlet of depravity, he immediately messaged all of his friends. He had found it, the worst of the worst, the Creepypasta to rule all Creepypastas. Its name was already worse than anything he had ever seen. “Jeff the Killer vs. Slenderman vs. Tails Doll vs. Eyeless Jack vs. Laughing Jack vs. Ben Drowned vs. Sonic.exe vs. Clockwork vs. The Beast Version of the Mascot”.
His whole life, before he scrolled down to read the story, was completely different. He was happy. He was normal. He could wake up in the morning and recognize his own paving slab of a reflection in the mirror. Now it's lies. ALL LIES!!! He knew that as of that moment, his life would become an infernal hell, in which every day would be a futile struggle to return to his film making career.
As he scrolled down, he heard a noise. A particular “disk-slipping sound followed by the complaining of a killer teenage boy with the voice of an old man” sound. Then it hit him. Laughing Jack, Jeff the Killer, and Slenderman bust down the door, did the dinosaur, and kidnapped them. As he was being dragged, Jacob quickly threw a Toffee Crisp at the computer and somehow managed to stop the recording and upload it to Youtube by doing so. He also managed to hit the computer on all of its left-hand knuckles.
The next day, a 14 year old boy quickly got on his computer and checked the MichaelLeroi channel for new videos. What he saw shocked him. A Super Brit Bros video got 30 views!!! Also, there was a less shocking video of Jacob and his friends being kidnapped by Creepypasta characters. Gavin, known as Gavin the Gaming Guru on youtube (like comment subscribe), watched in horror as his favorite youtubers were taken away to endure who knows what. Gavin vowed to travel to Englandburg, Britain, hunt down and destroy the Creepypasta monsters, and save the Bad Creepypasta crew. Within minutes he was in Britain (he teleported there), and began his search.
Jacob woke up drowsy. He looked around. He was in a cage, and his friends were enduring various forms of torture nearby. Toby was being forced to watch the 7 Guardians game trailer over and over. Matt was being forced to read FaLLeN Nsanity’s idiotic theories. And because the author of this story is too lazy to find out what the rest of Jacobs friends hate, they were all just huddled in the corner of Sonic.exe’s Butt Dungeon. It was only then did he realize that he was not alone in the cage. As he turned around, he saw a giant rat…with a purple hat…and T-shirt……labeled “Beast Mascot 666”.
Gavin knew he couldn’t fight this battle alone. He’d have to assemble a team of teenagers with attitude. Since he was a level 99 Necromancer, Gavin dug Keith, Randy, and Troy out of the unmarked graves in Jeffs backyard and brought them back to life, to which they attempted to mug Gavin, but were eventually beaten into submission. They then went and recruited Thomas Simple and his girlfriend Valerie, Valerie Hudson. Gavin also recruited his own personal friends. Arren, Samuel, Tyler, almost every jock in the school, and Ellie, Ellie Huston. They all whined and complained about helping Gavin save people they didn’t know or care about, but quickly changed their minds when he offered each of them 200 dollars in cash. So Gavin had assembled his team, and they became the Fellowship of the Spoopy Rotini.
They would encounter many trials on the way to the Illuminati Headquarters where Jacob and co. were being held. So they took a Double Decker bus instead. After a few hours of sitting on the bus, eating Toffee Crisps and being annoyed with the upstairs passengers playing music too loud, they got off and approached the giant pyramid in the middle of the non-existent British Wilderness. As they entered the pyramid, they were immediately greeted by X cultists, led by Sonic.exe. They simply killed all of the cultists, snapped the Sonic.exe game disk in two, and continued in to the next room. The next room appeared to mimic a crappy horror game based on a creepypasta character. They collected 8 notes spread around the room, strangled Slenderman with his own tentacles (arms), and left. The next room was just a neighborhood, except the pavement was replaced by pastry. As they continued, they bumped into the Tails doll. Gavin, who carries a Bible around at all times because he’s Mormon, threw his bible at the Tails Doll, who burned like a bomb and exploded.
The next room was full of clocks. A girl appeared, her eye replaced by a crappy-looking wrist watch. A strange woman with an axe or sythe immediately crawled towards her on her elbows and raped her for no other reason than to build sympathy towards her character. Gavin then ripped out her clock-eye, causing tons of Toffee Crisp to come pouring out. They continued into the next room which looked like a circus tent. Laughing Jack stood in the middle of the room, staring at them with a spoopy smile. Gavin ran at him with a knife, but he disappeared, causing Gavin to stab some random child who should’ve been dead in the chest. Since they didn’t know who this child was, they just continued into the next room not caring. They walked into the next room, which was empty because the author of this story has never read Ben Drowned, so they just moved on.
As they entered the next room, Eyeless Jack came running towards them. Gavin quickly ripped out one of Samuels kidneys and threw it at Eyeless Jack, who ate it halfway and melted into a puddle of Vicks Vaporub. The next door was locked however. Thomas Simple put his ear to the door, and heard it. A Simple phrase, but only the way an old man could speak. It said “No! We can’t kill it, it’s a beast version of the mascot!”. The door burst open and within minutes, Thomas and Valeries necks had been slashed. When the dust cleared, there he stood, Jeff the Killer, riding on top of the Beast Mascot 666. “I’m gonna slit your throats, and feed your innards to my fangirls!” Jeff screamed in a voice that sounded exactly like glass scraping on concrete. “Not if I can help it!” Gavin yelled as the whole group pulled out various firearms, because all the kids have one these days. They all shot Jeff in the head repeatedly, each bullet just missing his brain because Jeff the Killer logic. Jeff laughed “Ha! You think this is the real Jeff? IT IS!”
Jeff threw the bottle of Jeff the Killer whiskey at the group as bleach began pouring from the fire sprinklers on the ceiling. They all watched in horror as the bottle flew towards them. Since Jeff the Killer whiskey can also be used as a Molotov, it created a humongous fire which was immediately put out by the bleach. “Oh.” Said Jeff in realization. Gavin then banished Jeff and the Beast Mascot 666 into the void of space, unknowingly creating the story “Jeff in Space”. They had done it. They walked triumphantly into the next room, before spotting the worst thing they had seen in ages. There it was…sitting on its throne, wrapped in its gold and red cloak. Of course, how had they been so blind? The truth was right in front of their faces! All of the Toffee Crisps they had seen were spies. They looked on, horrified. The creature opened its mouth, revealing a row of bloody, hyper realistic fangs. It unfolded its great, leathery, hyper realistic wings. And stared hungrily at them, with its gunpowder black hyper realistic eyes. It was the Toffee Crisp Vampire. And it, was fear itself.
TCV released a blast of powerful energy that teleported most of the group into an empty cage, and creates a time rift that swaps tenses. Gavin, Randy, Keith, and Troy stand, watching the beast. “Behold my power!” TCV says as it blasts lasers out of its eyes. Gavin jumps to the side as the laser hits Keith, Randy, and Troy, turning the trio into Toffee crisp. Gavin looks at the beast and smirks. “What is so amusing, puny mortal?” Gavin laughs and begins to grow. His arms and legs become tentacles. His nose grows plump and begins hanging off his face. His skin turns blue, and his clothes become a simple brown shirt. His hair falls out in clumps. The TCV watches, horrified, as the thing that was once Gavin stands there, staring at it with hyper realistic eyes. Gavin, now transformed into SQUIDWARD, pulls out a shotgun, and aims it at the TCV. “Hasta la vista. Ba-“ Squidward is cut off as a Blood-Clarinet falls from the ceiling and impales him in the chest, killing him instantly. The Toffee Crisp Vampire turns the Blue Majora group and Gavins friends into Toffee Crisp, and the TCV lives happily ever after. The End.
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